Is it possible that every other breath I take, I'm pondering on US again...us, us, us. Where did that go? Why aren't we us anymore. I liked it when we were Lainey and Tanner. That was fun.
I breath in, and it's your eyes. I exhale, it's your smile. Another deep sigh, it's the way you squeezed me tight, hugged me from behind, pulled me around, surprising me, into your warm and welcoming arms. I miss our hugs the most. Just feeling like I was a part of you filled me with this weird buzzing feeling; in my head, in my chest, in my toes.
Is my heart screaming your name again? Shouting, be with him. Be with him. Let go. My heart and my head are in a constant furious argument, hollering two opposite, contradicting statements. "Love him." "Just stay away from him."
"So what if you only three weeks left. Make the most of everything you have here...make the most of HIM."
"Do you really want to be broken again?"
Long distant relationships don't work, do they? If we tried, would we fail? Would we ever see each other? Would it kill us? Would you be faithful to me? Would I ever come back? Do you ever even think this deep? If you read this, would you laugh? Do you even like me?
Okay, so it's obvious you like me...
Good gosh, you're all I think about anymore.
This feeling is so good. I haven't felt this kind of comfort in such a long time. This happiness, this giddiness that fills me with hope, and heart, and....like? I feel almost that love is too strong a word quite yet. But...did I really love you?
Should I burn myself up completely, of all common sense...and fly like a comet into your atmosphere, into your warmth once again? Is it right?
This beautiful contradiction, this sweet, hopeless tragedy. It's making me better. It's just what I need. YOU saved me.
How do you feel about that?
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