Starts With An "N"

"What are you thinking?" Simple though it may sound, the four-worded question arouses a series of questions of my own: How is it possible that there are so many thoughts circulating through my mind? How can I even begin to answer that question? How much of what I am truly thinking should I reveal in my answer? And how can I arrange my words in such a way that it portrays the thoughts I choose to share? Would you have ever imagined that ALL of that and then some would run through my mind when you asked me the question? In this moment, my mind is particularly clotted with thought. My stomach is churning uncomfortably. Nausea ails me and aids insomnia in its attack on my body tonight. Oh, and so many things to be nauseous over! The presence of a fourth person in this upstairs where there are normally three. The absence of food. The impending vocal performance and my own uncertainty in my ability in an area where there is normally exuberant confidence. The deep, unyielding tug of sheer pain in my lower abdomen. And the nausea only grows with the ticking of time. In addition, there's this whirring that once rested in the recesses of my mind, each day moving closer to the foreground. Like the annoying, high-pitched buzz of technology, it continues to sound in my mind's ear, and it questions the strength of some of the more recent relationships I've gained. Will they last when I leave this place? They say only time will tell, but I think I already know the answer. I'll give you a hint: two letters, stars with an 'N'....