Hold My Heart.

I don't have the easiest time, staying on track. And when I say that, I mean it in the biggest way possible. When I slip, I FALL HARD.
And they say the walk with God can be rough....boy, do they mean it.
I don't think I've been honest enough with even myself to admit this up until now: I haven't really paid the slightest attention to my amazing God for a couple of weeks.
My prayers haven't ended in Amen, lately. They end in me spacing off and forgetting, completely, what was my goal in the first place. Or of course, falling asleep. I wake up in the mornings, numb and longing for something. Could it be that the empty pang in my heart is the need for Christ?
He has blessed me so abundantly, and continues to love me so fully. Yet, I can't be happy. I feel zero percentage of joy. I know why, now. It all means nothing at all, without Jesus in my life.
God. It's in THIS MOMENT, right now....that I finally have it in me to open up to you. I finally FEEL you. I finally feel the meaning returning.
I'm so broken, God. So torn up inside....
You know me better than anyone could ever begin to comprehend. Please, take this burden on my back and erase the worry from my mind. Give me the enlightenment to discover a solution.
Give me the soul, the heart, the energy to show everyone else that the chains are broken, the impossible has happened, God's Son has risen and is ready to cleanse.
I want nothing more than to reconnect with You.

You say let it go. You say life is waiting for the ones that lose control. You say, if I lose my life, instead I'll find my soul.
No doubt.
I'm in.