Current State of Heart & Mind

I feel so out of place when I'm not speaking to him, when I'm not near him...but I can't quite find my place when I'm with him. It's not nerves, it's not that I don't want it to work more than anything...maybe it's just the contemplation, the restless pondering 'Will I be accepted? Will I be rejected? Does he love me? How will he take me?'
I have an impenetrable desire, almost a need for him, but I'm more unsure than I've ever been if this yearning is healthy in the least bit.
When I think of him, I imagine snuggling up into his arms, in his lap...his warmth and his love for me protecting me from every enemy on the planet. As I am wrapped, safely in him, I gaze into his eyes, my head resting on his chest - I can feel his beating heart. As he looks back at me, we share each infinitesimal thought on our mind. We know the other's thought process too well to be put into words, our connection is too great to be defined.
But he's just a boy.
And this daydream isn't real.
When he sees me, what does he see? The physical aspect or does my personality shine through bright enough for him to see? Does his mind even begin to touch the edges of forever? Does he see me in his forever?
Doubts. Doubts. Doubts.
Only someone with an in depth way of thinking could understand. Only love could create such a bond. And only someone who has any real idea of what love is could feel it. Therefore, I need to stop dreaming. I need to quit allowing myself to dive so deep, praying to God that there's a chance in this great big sea of TEENAGERS to find love. There isn't, there isn't, there ISN'T. Although I could very well have a complete understanding of love and the ability to feel it, I have to wait. As much as I may ADORE him and as well as I know that I have the full potential to love this boy, he may never feel the same.
I guess that's just the current state of heart & mind.